The purportedly "satirical" (whatever that means) but completely true conspiracy theory Birds Aren't Real bravely sets out to debunk the absurd liberal myth that birds in the Greatest Nation On Earth® still exist (as if!) when in fact they were replaced by evil surveillance drones operated by the United States Government. American birds are just a fowl joke, and everyone who follows QAnon now knows the truth thanks to true American patriot Peter McIndoe from Memphis, Tennessee.

According to eye witnesses, while participating from a distance with pro-Trump counter-protestors at the treasonous worldwide Women's March in January 2017, he had a revelation from GOD that all birds in the US had been exterminated during the 1960s and replaced by winged and feathered robotic cameras that look and behave exactly like birds. Online researchers then determined though FOIA and more reliable sources that president John F. Kennedy was assassinated by the CIA because he opposed killing all the birds, and threatened to expose the plan to the American People. Spreading this truth will honor our late president's memory!

Though we know that these devices recharge themselves by sitting on power lines and that their droppings are frequently used as a means of tracking the movement of vehicles, intrepid PATRIOTS are still working to uncover more information on the dark web about this insidious invasion of our privacy as sovereign citizens by the unholy and corrupt deep state. McIndoe has spent the years since receiving his divine message giving interviews to the liberal media, but of course they think it's just a misinformation campaign. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

265