As part of my mission to be a Lady in Everything, I present the "Velvet Glove" courses, as an essential part of high-level badassery:
- Velvet Glove 101: Charm, Etiquette, and Social Accomplishment. Proper usages in polite society, table manners, etc. Penmanship. Selection of writing papers, linens, porcelain, glass, and Oriental rugs.
- Velvet Glove 103: A more intensive introduction for those coming into the course with some background on these subjects (i.e. being "to the manner born", or a pedigree found in Debrett's Peerage.) Antiques, appreciation of chamber music, classical poetry, etc.
- Velvet Glove 201: The importance of hobbies, such as sailing, needlepoint, bridge, etc. Conversation and gracious behavior. Seduction and the arts of love. Special "vanilla ice cream" treatment given in the latter half of the class, mandatory.
- Velvet Glove 301: Underhanded backstabbing, treachery, and cattiness. Passive-aggressiveness. How to turn someone into a catatonic within two hours. Double-binds, and how to use them.
MEOW!