Premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is an ejaculation before the man wants it to occur. This may occur because the man is unable to recognize that he is about to ejaculate and even when he does recognize he is approaching ejaculation, he feels he is unable to control or delay the process. Ejaculation is a reflex that, once a certain level of stimulation is reached, becomes automatic. Controlling the ejaculatory reflex requires that the man be able to recognize and regulate the amount of stimulation he is experiencing so that he does not reach the level that will trigger the ejaculatory reflex before he wants to.

In most cases of early ejaculation the man has a history of concern and worry about his ability to control his ejaculation dating back many years, often to his first sexual relationship or before. Some therapists think that young men unknowingly are encouraged by events in their early sexual lives to teach themselves to ejaculate rapidly. Early experiences of masturbating quickly to get to the newfound good feeling of orgasm (or to avoid being caught), or rushing through sexual experiences in the back seat of a car, or on the family couch, may contribute to a young man unknowingly learning to ejaculate quickly.

Treating Premature Ejaculation
Some methods that are used by sex therapists and doctors include:
1. The squeeze method- this method has the partner stimulate the man's penis until he is close to ejaculation. At the point when he is about to ejaculate, the partner squeezes the penis hard enough to make him partially lose his erection. By circling the hand just below the head of the penis, a squeeze will prevent ejaculation. The goal of this technique is to teach the man to become aware of the sensations leading up to orgasm, and then begin to control and delay his orgasm on his own.
2. The stop-start method-Stop-start involves the partner stimulating the man's penis, except that when the man instructs, the partner stops stimulating the man's penis before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Then as he feels he regains control, he instructs the partner to begin again. Gradually, the stop-start method is applied to intercourse, and the affected male can learn to gauge his sensations to prevent ejaculation to last longer in bed.
3. Communication- By talking about the problem, some males may overcome their fears and inhibitions about premature ejaculation. Males can seek counselling from sex clinics or therapists, or they can talk with their partner about their feelings. Books and articles can help make this condition something a couple can work through and get beyond, not live in frustration with.

Premature ejaculation is not a precisely defined thing. It is not based on a set amount of time to ejaculate, rather it is merely when you ejaculate before you want to. A lot of men face this problem, and the situation can often be improved with relative ease.

The major necessity for beating premature ejaculation is time, you must be willing to put time into solving it, and if you aren’t you may as well give in now. There are a number of techniques to deal with the problem, and two, the stop start and squeezing techniques are mentioned in another premature ejaculation article. I will therefore focus on how to prepare, rather than how to act during the sexual activity.

Often a major contributor to the problem of premature ejaculation is the way our bodies have been trained, normally through masturbation. If we masturbate quickly we will orgasm quickly during sex. Therefore an obvious technique to help improve your ability to last is to take longer during masturbation. The keyword here is longer, there is no set time you should last. Don’t set your aims too high, as you will just become disheartened, however, also don’t set them too low, you should aim to take significantly longer to masturbate. There are two major ways of doing this, and I advise using a mix of the two. The first is slowing down in masturbation, going as slow as you need to avoid orgasming. The second is to stop when you feel you are getting too excited and allow yourself to cool down, and then start again. An important thing to realise is that you are doing this to condition your body, not to prove how long you can last. There is no point in saying, well I could last this long if I wanted to, unless you do actually last that long.

Other exercises that you can do to help you last longer are Kegel exercises. These strengthen the muscles that control orgasms, and can give you greater control over when you ejaculate. These are covered on the everything2 site elsewhere, and I suggest you read up and practice them.

It is important to realise that often these problems are mainly mental and being nervous can play a major part in causing you to ejaculate quickly. Some people find that if they can stop worrying about reaching orgasm, and just enjoy themselves, they actually last significantly longer. Others prefer to keep their mind occupied with other things to distract them, and swear that this helps them last longer. If you can manage not to worry too much about the situation it is almost guaranteed that this will help, although as with everything, this differs from person to person.

Finally I can suggest a few books that you may consider worth reading, these are “The Multi-Orgasmic Man” by Mantak Chia & Douglas Abrams and “How to Make Love All Night (and Drive a Woman Wild)” by Dr. Barbara Keesling. These aren’t instant fix books, but they may help.

Everybody is highly individual, and different things work for different people, but the above are at least ideas that may help some people who are suffering from problems of premature ejaculation to overcome these problems. Good luck all.