Just a vocabulary note here: "breeder" is a word that means, variously:

• one controlling the selective breeding of a species (in the context of animal husbandry)
• a heterosexual (in the context of queer lingo)
• one who has reproduced but does not take care of his or her children properly. This usually means someone who has had children without weighing out the responsibilities and sacrifices involved, and once he or she has discovered those responsibilities and sacrifices, chooses not to live up to them (in the context of childfree lingo)

When someone mentions that he or she does not wish to have children, if he or she happens to be unlucky, that person is treated to a number of groaningly over-repeated responses from outraged and defensive people who do not, cannot, or will not understand that other people have different views from themselves. In reaction to the preponderance of these responses, online childfree groups have created a game called "Breeder Bingo".

The theoretical rules for this tongue-in-cheek game are as follows: when, in the course of normal conversation, one mentions one's lack of desire to have children or one's indifference towards them, and if the audience responds with shock and indignation, one pulls out the Breeder Bingo card and a pen. As certain key phrases are uttered during the conversation, the player crosses off the corresponding spaces on the 5 x 5 bingo card. It is considered cheating to deliberately provoke one's audience or steer the conversation towards topics related to children.

Breeder Bingo is not a literal game that anyone actually plays, mostly due to the fact that standardized gamecards do not exist, and also due to the fact that one rarely has a print-out of a card handy when conversations get steered in this direction. If anything, this game would most realistically (and ideally!) be played as a drinking game, in which someone takes a sip or shot of their favorite drink every time they hear one of the comments that would appear on their card, and consider the game an excellent one if they quickly reach a pleasant stage of inebriation. In reality, people refer to it in conversation as a sort of figure of speech to express just how horrified the replies were to a statement that they intend not to reproduce; an example of this would be, "This woman at work asked me when I was going to have kids, so I told her I don't want to have any, and I got Bingoed to hell and back."

A typical Breeder Bingo gamecard would look like this:

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|       B        |        I         |       N       |        G          |          O            |
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Children are   |  You must have   | You're just   | Childbirth is a   | The best thing        |
| our future!    |  had a horrible  | selfish.      | woman's greatest  | in the world I ever   |
|                |  childhood.      |               | achievement!      | did was have kids.    |
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| Someday you'll | My kids are the  | Who will take | But you'd make    | I said I didn't want  |
| meet someone   | most important   | care of you   | such a good       | kids when I was       |
| who'll change  | thing in my life!| when you're   | parent!           | young, but I changed  |
| your mind.     |                  | old?          |                   | my mind.              |
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| It's unnatural | What if your     |     FREE      | Being a parent is | You don't know what   |
| not to want to | parents thought  |     SPACE!    | the most important| love is until you     |
| have children. | the same way?    |      WOO!     | job in the world! | have a child.         |
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| It's different |                  | How can you   | You were a child  | You don't love your   |
| when they're   |  You childhater! | live with     | once!             | partner if you won't  |
| your own!      |                  | yourself?     |                   | give him/her children.|
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Just wait until| It's all worth   | You must be a | You'll regret it  | It's not a real       |
| you have kids  | it in the end.   | very sad      | when you're older.| family if you don't   |
| of your own.   |                  | person.       |                   | have children.        |
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Other Bingo-isms include:

• What do your parents think about no grandkids?
• You should have a kid. White/black/other people aren't having enough kids. You'll be outnumbered!
• Your child could cure cancer! (Funny how it hardly ever occurs to people that a hypothetical kid's more likely to become a serial murderer than the next Einstein.)
• But you're so smart! Your children would be so beautiful/smart/talented!
• You'll change your mind once you have one.
• You're horrible. I'm glad you're not having kids.
• Oh, well, you never know. "Accidents" happen <wink, wink; nudge, nudge>. (As if someone committed to not having kids won't be taking as many precautions as possible to avoid "accidents." And when all is said and done, "accidents" can be taken care of.)
• I feel so sorry for you. You're missing out.
• You're just bitter and hateful.

When the player manages to cross off five vertical, horizontal, or diagonal spaces in a row, or at least thinks that he or she had heard enough BB-isms to win, he or she shouts "Bingo!" and escapes from the conversation in the ensuing confusion. There is no standardized prize for winning Breeder Bingo, except perhaps for the sense of smug satisfaction one gets from knowing that one's audience has said at least four trite, illogical, or clichéd things in a relatively short time. Of course, there is always the sense of childish glee one can get from a well-done trolling, but really, there is no place for such things in civilized discourse!

On a good day for the player, the above comments can provide much amusement, especially when one decides to play a game of "spot-the-logical-inconsistencies" at the same time as Breeder Bingo. On a bad day, however, they can provide much frustration and disillusionment, especially if the person "calling the numbers" for this Breeder Bingo game is very close to or otherwise highly respected by the player, and was basically trusted by the player to be someone who would understand his or her intensely personal decision.

However, let it certainly not be assumed that the player is always blameless for the reactions of his or her audience--often, one's listeners do not respond so much to what one says as to how one says it; thus, tact is a necessity, especially when speaking of sensitive matters. When pressed to explain their decision not to have children, the childfree can, and more often than not do, get as defensive as (or more defensive than) the father of three who has just encountered someone who does not not consider children, or parents, anyone special compared to other people. Questioning someone else's decision of whether or not they wish to use their reproductive organs is invasive and rude, and ultimately it is nobody's business but their own--and the person they choose to remain in a serious relationship with, of course.

When all is said and done, one person's choice to live his or her life differently from the way you choose to live yours is not an insult towards you--this goes for those both childfree and not. It is the height of arrogance to assume that someone has arranged his or her life specifically to spite you, of the billions of other people alive in the world today. Also, their decision to reproduce or not has absolutely zero influence on your own ability to reproduce, though it may influence your decision to do so. People consciously choosing not to follow a lifestyle similar to yours is not a threat to your freedom to continue living the life you choose.

For those interested, some pretty decent responses to BB-isms can be found at the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement site at <http://www.vhemt.org/biobreed.htm>.