/me looks down at her
t-shirt, which - appropriately enough - bears
grimace's likeness, and sees no apparent
racial subtext.
apoxybutt is very close to
the truth. this is just a
theory, so feel free to quickly discount it, but i had always sort of thought that grimace represented a
foodstuff. you know how the other
mcdonald's characters (
hamburgler, the
fry guys..) represent mcdonald's
menu items? i posit that grimace represents whatever
odd, mushy substance they
really make their food from. picture it.. somewhere, at a
hidden mcdonald's lab in the base of some misty volcano, there is an operation not dissimilar to a giant
play-doh factory, where shapeless and
rubbery purple goop is molded, dyed, and
blandly flavored, then left out to dry until it assumes a form more or less convincing enough to pass for
whatever it's supposed to be. this would explain the bizarre
uniformity of the vegetables, the meat, the buns, the condiments, the fact that you can go to any mcdonald's anywhere and order a
cheeseburger that tastes
exactly like the ones they serve in your
hometown.
look at the
mcdonald's cheese and tell me you disbelieve it could have been a substance akin to
silly putty at some point in its life.
grimace is the
soul of mcdonald's, the truth.
ronald mcdonald is marketing - a pretty face on the product - grimace is the evil but clueless, yet oddly
borg-like
ceo, sitting in some secret office somewhere,
guiding the culinary fate of the free world.